Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
张小斐特别好，贾玲的真诚太打动人了。看到结局再回去想那句“我说了我很幸福，你怎么就不信呢？”我的泪又憋不住了。如果是和同学看这部，我可能不会这么喜欢，但是我的李焕英就在我身边。珍惜每一秒，每一秒。
段子有点小品有点割裂，但妈真的买过第一台电视，真的打过排球，能把这些融进来，还是很用心了，真诚应该打败鸡贼吧
最后的双穿越，神之一笔，我看到一半的时候就在想，怎么这么多漏洞，怎么这么多强词夺理，最后双穿越以后，神了，五星！！！
最后开车的镜头，应该是强拍出来，安慰自己的吧。
感动和搞笑的情节都恰到好处，爱值得五星，最后煽情安排有美中不足
贾玲在王牌说：我把心掏出来给你们看了。呜呜呜呜呜呜呜，你确实是，这么多年第一次在电影院哭到抽抽
但是它特别好的是，把穿越翻出了花。当要让妈妈开心的这份心意被传达到，这个点实在是太好哭了。
贾玲猛然知道真相的那一刻，那个镜头，那火光电石的瞬间，那记忆不断回溯的画面，简直就是韩国电影《开心鬼家族》的翻版。
电影节奏和画面语言确实有很大问题，但真诚胜过了一切。女性视角下一切都太美好，女人美好，男人也都可可爱爱的，没有任何令人不适和被冒犯的情节。尤其喜欢陈赫那个角色，不会再开肥胖梗的玩笑，即使躲雨挤成那样，他也看到了你有趣美丽的灵魂。贾玲真是超级无敌大可爱！
我妈妈确实希望我健健康康快快乐乐长大 她也曾是个花季少女
真是催泪炸弹以至于无法评价，我旁边一个男生哭的比我还厉害，贾玲很好真的很好，但一个健康的理念是社会不应该过分神化母亲，过分鼓吹与强调母亲的奉献与牺牲
这是一个感人的故事，但不是电影。非常真诚的故事，但不是电影。
前面一直都在想这片为什么有8.3，后面二十分钟明白了。母女关系讲完一层表面的弥补亏欠，还能再反过来讲一次亏欠不可能弥补，这个不新但是挺有效的。真诚最动人，贾玲每一滴眼泪都是发自肺腑。希望女导演们能更类型、更完整地表达情感。
今年唯一期待也是第一时间看完的春节档，想认真写个短评所以...迟来的mark。自然流畅、质朴、真实又温暖，笑点密集哭点真挚，而本以为烂大街的穿越梗居然也有新的华点，惊喜。喜欢的细节完全数不过来：被封存的画面慢慢从黑白变成彩色+路灯下的小姑娘bgm部分我已经泪流满面，大雨里刘德华的歌(贾玲果然是狂热粉）+与陈赫背靠背的段落意外地超级浪漫，师父冯巩的串场自然，而最后走马灯般看着自己成长过程的部分结合贾玲真实经历简直是核弹级催泪弹...无法想象贾玲本人拍摄时有多难过...品质极其上乘的诚意之作，本贾玲真爱粉想为这个可爱又温暖的妹子贡献更多的票房和支持。
啪嗒啪嗒掉眼泪的时候，我多希望手上的金阁寺能变成卫生纸，恨不能把三岛由纪夫一页页撕下来擦鼻涕。
（说的不是贾玲，贾玲很会选点）
很出乎意料，不仅搞笑也很感人，包袱和演技衔接得也自然流畅，虽然穿越的设定和最后的蒙太奇很刻意，但好在全片都透着贾玲对母亲的真诚的思念，这让影片有种特别的“灵魂”。再联想到贾玲的现实经历，和影片的互文就更加让人唏嘘。与其说这是部喜剧电影，不如说这是贾玲对逝去母亲的最真挚的缅怀与纪念。也正好触碰到了所有人对母亲的情感软肋。
电影节奏和画面语言确实有很大问题，但真诚胜过了一切。女性视角下一切都太美好，女人美好，男人也都可可爱爱的，没有任何令人不适和被冒犯的情节。尤其喜欢陈赫那个角色，不会再开肥胖梗的玩笑，即使躲雨挤成那样，他也看到了你有趣美丽的灵魂。贾玲真是超级无敌大可爱！
最美的不是重回青春的艳阳天，而是渐渐为你变作中年妇女的屋檐。只是分明是两个人共同的心愿，为何要留一个人独自健康快乐的承诺。
女孩子诠释母爱，这种sisterhood的确有另外一种味道，温暖、细致、让人沐浴春风的活泼可爱，喝酒换盏那段看的人眼泪哗哗的，贾玲演的真好。很伟大的母爱，希望大家珍惜、理解，但不要继承，我们这辈人可以再挣扎下，女性可以经历motherhood，但一定只是她人生的一部分，女儿穿越回去让妈妈开心，几乎所有的努力都是女儿在满足自己，几乎就是中年妇女事事替女儿安排好的心态。李焕英应该是独立的人，有个人的理想、目标、爱好、品味，结尾幻灯片把前面很高级的喜剧质感全部坍塌了。
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